Being selfless goes against our very nature.  We are born needy.   Right out of the womb we need something and we’re not afraid to let the whole world know about it.

As we grow up we slowly learn independence and doing things for ourselves, but we rarely learn the art of selflessness.  Giving goes against society. I had a new friend comment that each one of us has to “build our own kingdom.”  By this he meant his house, cars, ATVs, camper, etc.  Understand that his possessions were modest and well within his means, but the idea bothers me.  I don’t want to have a kingdom.  At the end of my life, I don’t want a lot of stuff.  I’d rather die knowing I’ve helped others more than I’ve helped myself.  I admit I have some catching up to do.  (Don’t we all.)  I want to give to others.

I’m at a point in my life where I want less so that others can be blessed by my giving.  The world is unevenly distributed anyway.  We made it that way.  I just want to do my part even it up a little.  Wouldn’t you?

With that in mind, here’s a list of 8 things you should never be selfless about.  In fact, you need to be a little selfish when it comes to the following.  Why?  Because being selfish in these areas will help you be more selfless overall.

1.      Presentation. Please be selfish about how you present yourself publicly.  Your presentation may open doors for service, or have them slammed in your face.  One can be both up-to-date and frugal at the same time.  I once went backing with a guy who needed a mirror in the morning to comb his hair.  (He took at least ten minutes to do so.)  Trust me when I say, “The elk and bears just didn’t care.”  Don’t get obsessive in your presentation, but don’t neglect it either.  Knowing what you’re going to do during the day will probably dictate some level of presentation.  Move forward accordingly.  You get the idea.

2.      Income. Yes, I said income.  John Wesley has been attributed with this thought:  “Make all you can.  Save all you can.  Give all you can.” With this concept remember there has to be balance.  Too much “make” takes away from other things on this list.  Note there is no mention of “spend” or “amass” here.  You make so you can save.  You save so you can give.  You give because of others’ needs, evening out the distribution process a little.  Repeat the process.  Go to work.  Make money.  Just remember why you should be making it.

3.      Family. You may only have one so be selfish about giving them the time they need with you as well as the time you need with them.  My daughter is at school in another country.  Once a week we Skype for an hour or so.  There’s a little needed info that is exchanged but mostly we just need to see each other.  We talk about nothing for an hour or so.  We are satisfying each others’ selfish need for connection.  In family this is a good thing.  And during this family togetherness time, engage in selfless acts.  It’s so much more fun when done as a group.

4.      Exercise. This is just basic general health.  Do something every day.  My wife and I began the P90X program together.  It was supposed to go for 90 days.  We stopped after 60.  But, we also got into the habit of doing some kind of exercise every day.  P90X was intense, as well as fun, but it didn’t work well into Lisa’s work schedule.  So we made an adjustment.  Other areas on this list had to be sacrificed and the end result was not worth it overall.  We found a balance and we’re healthier because of it.  being healthier gives us more energy when we’re doing other things.

5.      Personal Time. Everybody needs regular personal time.  Be selfish about it, but set a time limit to it as well.  Guard it.  Whether you read for an hour or sleep for an hour, it doesn’t matter.  It is for recharging, praying, meditating, chilling, regrouping, re-energizing, (I’m sure there’s a few more ways I can say the same thing) resting, thinking, emptying, whatever.  do it even if it’s just 10 minutes a day, do it.  It’ll be worth it.

6.      Planning. Yup.  Don’t let an unplanned day take over your life.  The urgent, yet unimportant things, will suck away your time and effort.  You’ll be left wondering where the day went.  Be selfish about planning your days.  If you don’t ten people may plan it for you, without any input from you whatsoever.  Along with this thought, be flexible enough to be selfless when an unplanned event draws your attention.

7.      Priorities. What are yours?  I mean “Big Picture Priorities” for your life.  Check out the video by Stephen R. Covey on priorities.  The visual is worth more than I could ever write about here.

8.      Worship. Take time weekly (daily would be better) to worship our Creator.  Whether you do that by music, meditation or some other creative process, we were made to worship God.  Give Him part of your week/day regularly.  Be selfish about it.  Doing so will make you a better giver.  Doing so will make you more selfless.

One last thought:  You may be saying, “I don’t have time for all of this!”  Before jumping on this excuse, read this.

The downside: Being selfish in all these areas can take up more time than I have right now.

The Upside: Look at the list and pick one or two you don’t already do now.  Add them in slowly and create a habit of it.  When those are working smoothly for you, add another one.  Repeat.

The payoff: In the long run, you will be more selfless because you’re taking care of yourself first.  It sounds selfish because it is.  But it makes “you” be a better “you.”  A better you becomes more selfless when these areas are taken care of selfishly.

Now, let me go.  I have some personal things to take care of.  Have a great day.